Dating same guy
Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. Dating multiple people, or having an alternative relationship, sounds like a great option if you have feelings for more than one person. The most important thing is to be open and honest with the people involved. If you want to date more than one person, make sure that everyone involved understands this and is okay with it. Also, be sure beforehand that you can handle it.
Dating The Same Type of Person Says A Lot About You
I'm pretty sure that, at this point, it's pretty safe to say we've all heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same things while expecting a different result. But I can't help but wonder how many of us apply this to our dating situations. Take this one woman I know. Around every six months or so, she hits me up on email to tell me that she's met the perfect guy for her. I've been receiving these kinds of messages for at least a decade now, so the dialogue is usually the same.
Have you slept with him yet? Usually, she'll end her email with something along the lines of men are jerks and she wonders if she'll ever find true love. She's not exceptional in this case. I know a lot of women who feel the same way. But as someone who is not new to this kind of rodeo ride, there is a big part of me that wonders if some of us are jumping to generalized conclusions about men simply because we're not willing to look within.
What I mean by that is, I wonder if the real issue isn't that we can't find good guys, but it's more like we keep dating the same person over and over again. Sure, each man may look different but at the end of the day, could it be that we're caught up in a cyclic form of an emotional hamster wheel without even recognizing it? If there's a part you wonders if you're lumping all men together because you keep dating the same kinds of guys, here are some telling signs to look out for.
Break-ups hurt. Remembering them do too. I totally get that. But if you want to get to the root of whether or not you keep dating the same guy or type of guy , purposeful reminiscing can actually do you some long-term good. Take out a sheet of paper and think back to your last five relationships or situationships. Now try and be as unbiased as possible as you write down the reasons why things came to an end.
Were they scared to commit? Did you find yourself doing most of the work? Was there a lot of sexual chemistry, yet not enough of an emotional connection? When I think back to a constant in a lot of my relationships, if there's one thing that was a common thread for me, it's feeling like I was being taken for granted. Yet when I stepped back and thought about how I got there, each and every time, I had to accept that I was willing to do a lot without requiring certain things in return.
It wasn't until I relived the break-ups that I realized that I kept attracting the same kind of guy because I never processed the common thread that connected them all. One of the toughest parts about being in marriage life coaching sessions is when one person thinks that their marriage would be fine if only their spouse made some changes. Not only is that pretty arrogant, but it's pretty self-delusional too. None of us like to hear this, but if there's one thing that all of our exes have in common with us is us.
That said, what were some of the words that the men in your life used to describe you? Emotionally unstable? Relationships are mirrors. Sometimes they show us some of the very things we don't want to see about ourselves. I'll give you an example. Let's say that you seem to always attract narcissists or sociopaths. Something that those kinds of men look for in a woman is insecurity, the fear of confronting matters, and the propensity for excessive people-pleasing.
If you're wondering why you're always feeling manipulated or drained in your relationships, have you ever thought about if you have some of those traits? If you're trying to figure out why you keep dating the same kind of individual, first, identify what kind of men you've been dealing with. Then look at what weaknesses they are drawn to Psychology Today is one site that provides a wealth of wisdom on topics like these.
If you have some of those qualities, remember — you can't change other people, but you can always improve upon yourself. Sometimes just a little bit of self-evaluating and adjusting can be all that you need to break certain dating patterns and cycles. Whew, times flies! I can't believe that it's been over 20 years now since Juanita Bynum laid us all out with her sermon " No More Sheets ".
Out of all of the hot points that she hit, the one that has always stayed with me is the fact that we'll oftentimes miss someone from our past simply because we only replay the good times including the good sex in our heads. It's like we're wired to subconsciously edit out the heartaches, disappointments, and betrayals. This is just one more reason why we can find ourselves dating the same kind of dude. If you're always finding yourself with a seductive cheater but every time you think back to your exes, you only remember how charming and romantic they were…see how that can result in you constantly being with someone who has the same attributes and the same character flaws?
If you don't want to date the same guy, be intentional about not editing out the bad stuff from each of the past ones. It's the bad stuff that teaches the real and lasting lessons so that we can grow. Sadly, some of us would rather stay in something that is, at best counterproductive and, at worst toxic simply because it's familiar to us. Sure, you might not like being involved with guys who are not attentive or aren't as proactive as you might like but at least you know how to deal with those kinds of dudes.
I'll raise my hand in this class and say that I used to have a real knack for getting involved with my male friends. To me, I thought it was "safe" because at least I knew they cared about me. But a guy caring about you vs. For a long time, I wasn't in love with myself, so I attracted men who felt the same way. They cared about me about as much as I did some of y'all will catch that later. The gal I referenced at the beginning of this piece?
Her pattern is smothering guys too soon and confusing great sex for a solid connection. Intellectually, she knows that she deserves more. But she's settled for so long that she'd rather stick with what she knows than be alone. It might sound cray-cray, but it's an epidemic, the number of women who do the exact same thing as her and me.
But because he also had so many awesome attributes, I overlooked that fact — for years. When it got to the point where we knew we had a solid connection and I also knew that he was too emotionally immature and unstable to establish anything solid and lasting, why did I stay…for as long as I did? Because I chose to ignore the blaring red flag that was staring me dead in my face. Why did I do that? Because rather than say, "Shellie, you want a husband and he's terrified of commitment.
So, even though he's a great guy, the two of you should probably just be good friends", what I told myself was, "He's got some great husband qualities, so I'll love him through his phobia of long-term commitments until he changes. In other words, I saw only what I wanted to see. That's what rose-colored glasses are designed to do. If you don't want to keep dating the same guy over and over again, look at ALL of a man — not just the good parts.
It's amazing, the words we commonly use that we think we know the definitions for that we probably don't. Take the word "different". It means unusual and several and separate and not alike in character. If all of the guys you meet are online, let a friend set you up. If all the guys you go out with, you sleep with after the fifth date, wait longer. If you only go for tall, dark and handsome, consider slightly shorter, cinnamon and hella cute.
If your dating life has been going the same way ever since you can remember, step out and try something a little unusual. I'm telling you, sometimes guys get a bad rap because we speak in generalizations about them. And that's because we're only dating one type of guy. If any of this resonated, even a little bit, stop dating the same man in a different body. For the sake of your sanity, break your old patterns and try something new.
There's no tellin' what kind of man is on the other side of your hamster wheel if you do. Shellie R. Warren is a lover of quotes, lip gloss, graphic t-shirts, silver jewelry and Pumas. She's an author with two published books thus far on matters of the heart. In fact, marks the year anniversary of her first release Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption , so she's seriously mulling over penning a sequel to it.
In the meantime, when Shellie's not tellin' all her business, she's helping couples marriage life coach or assisting with birthing babies doula. Her byline is all over cyberspace, but where you won't find her is on social media. Like anywhere. At all. If you need to hit her up, she's usually reachable at missnosipho at gmail. From doing the laundry and washing the dishes to paying the bills and picking the kids up from school, the mundane routine of everyday life can make us want to take a one-way ticket to Cabo and never come back.
Mother's Day is the perfect time to bring back the "for us by us" movement. Maybe I shouldn't say "bring back," because it never really left. Black women have been doing it for the culture for quite some time. So, what better way to salute the women who birthed us? On Friday, April 19, xoNecole launched its new event series: A Girls' Night in Experience.
The four-hour event featured a one-of-a-kind photo booth experience, a fireside chat, and pampering and reflexology stations with massages that will have you calling home to your mama.
If I were to make a checklist of all the patterns the guys I repeatedly dated in If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of dating the same type of bad. The world's most identical twins, who even share a boyfriend, now want to get pregnant by him. They are also looking into arranging a.
He was sweet and upbeat, talkative and seemingly driven. I nodded along to his stories as I took bites of my pasta, methodically peppering him with questions while revealing very little about myself. In the end, I hugged him goodbye and thanked him for dinner. When he texted me the following day, I told him that, although he was lovely, it was probably best we went our separate ways.
I'm pretty sure that, at this point, it's pretty safe to say we've all heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same things while expecting a different result. But I can't help but wonder how many of us apply this to our dating situations.
The Good Men Project. Yes, why is it that we all want the same thing—true love—and yet, ironically, we keep ending up with the same thing:
"How I (Finally) Learned to Stop Dating the Wrong Kind of Guy"
The first weeks and months of a new relationship are always the most exhilarating. When you're getting to know each other, every conversation offers some new morsel of information about your beloved and every physical encounter is full of nervousness, excitement and the thrill of exploring the body of your paramour. All of the time you spend time together -- no matter whether you are having sex or chatting over cocktails -- you are walking the very fine line between true vulnerability and the trepidation of opening up too soon. The fear and uncertainty that you feel is counterbalanced by the sheer excitement of seeing him or her and being able to kiss his face once again. During this emotionally charged time, so many of us are tempted to spend as much time together as possible.
Celebrities Who Remained Friends Despite Dating the Same Person
Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It is a form of courtship , consisting of social activities done by the couple, either alone or with others. The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time. While the term has several meanings, the most frequent usage refers to two people exploring whether they are romantically or sexually compatible by participating in dates with the other. With the use of modern technology, people can date via telephone or computer or meet in person. Dating may also involve two or more people who have already decided that they share romantic or sexual feelings toward each other. These people will have dates on a regular basis, and they may or may not be having sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement. Dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which has mainly emerged in the last few centuries. From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology , dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have also been changing rapidly and which have been subject to many forces, including advances in technology and medicine.
Can you date a friend's ex and stay on good terms? These stars prove you can.
Jump to navigation. Twins are known to share things in their life, and this has been known to be just another stereotype, but also a fact. But to what extent would you like to share things in life?
Dating more than one person at a time
By Tracey Cox for MailOnline. Einstein said the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results. Yet many of us have 'revolving door' relationships: After all, if they were the right type for you, you'd still be with them, right? If you're dating the same person without getting the result you want, it's clearly time to rethink. Tracey Cox says many of us have 'revolving door' relationships: How do you know if you're dating the same type? Do you meet them in the same sort of place? Do they look the same? Have the same mannerisms? Same backgrounds?
7 Types Of Bad Men And Why You Keep Dating Them
When a group of women can band together after some guy screws them over, it is truly a lemons-into-lemonade situation. But this is basically a version of that story, and of course that means social media is involved. Here's what happened: A group of seven! Nathan, the dude in question, created a group chat that contained the message "Hey beautiful. Cushioning is just a fancy new way to cheat on someone. One of the gals quickly changed the chat name to "Nathan's Beautiful Girls," and then the ladies began to share their stories.
The actresses were both linked to former New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez around the same time back in , to the point where it's unclear who actually dated him first. It was also rumored that Hudson hooked up with Diaz's then-recent ex Justin Timberlake as "payback" for Diaz dating Rodriguez. They'd buried the hatchet by , when they were photographed at Vanity Fair 's Oscar party looking very friendly. As recently as September , they even partied together at Nicole Richie's birthday. In a double-dose of "Can you believe those two dated? Each of the actresses separately dated Counting Crows frontman Adam Duritz back in the s. Aniston dated Duritz first.
Sure, you went on a great first date with Steve, but a few harmless minutes of late-night swiping led you to match with Cameron, a 6-foot-3 soccer player with bright blue eyes and an adorably crooked smile. You want to at least meet him and see how the two of you hit it off. The results of Match. And if you think men are the only ones enjoying this trend, think again: Women are actually more likely to want to date multiple people at a time than men are.
If you keep winding up on dates with the same type of person, over and over again, this post is for you! There are things we should know about our character and personality that make us susceptible to attracting and staying with unbalanced partners. It is important to pay attention to this because doing so can help bring healthier people into your life. The following are eight types of people and what dating them could say about you. Once hooked, however, you battle with their demands, criticisms and self-centeredness. Consistently Dating Narcissists Could Mean: You are also narcissistic.
Relationships happen in stages. You don't just meet someone and automatically become their significant other. I've tried that. First, you meet and message. But, you're not quite boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Sometimes, this confusion can make me want to come to every date with a checklist:STORYTIME: WE WERE DATING THE SAME GUY - HSS