Humpday hookup horror stories

Humpday hookup horror stories

Try to keep it under words. All submissions will be made anonymous. Thou shalt not judge, lest ye be judged…. Went back to my alma mater for a football game a few weeks ago. I have a few buddies who are still in school and their fraternity throws the biggest tailgate on campus. I was talking to a sophomore maybe she was a junior?

Hump day hookup horror stories, Do you want a relationship or are

Try to keep it under words. Thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged. I joined the military right out of college. Not ideal. Then it was back to pushups and screaming. Fast-forward to three months later, and it was graduation night. One of my best friends from back home and his family even made the trip. We hit the town where my OCS was located. The streets and bars were packed with revelers.

I was free for the first time in months. At one point in the night, I bought shots of Fireball. It was that kind of night. But who cared? No shame in my game. I was sufficiently stewed. I took one last trip to the bathroom before we headed out. I asked him what the hell had happened. This move included a crotch fondling.

His girlfriend however, was apparently less confident. Apparently some of the guys had to pull her off of Shamu. At this point, I did what any responsible guy would do. His father was a very senior officer who lived in the area. The joys of serving our country. She was gorgeous, sexy, and to top it all off, she was actually pretty cool, too. Unfortunately, she had been dating the same guy all of high school. I knew her and her boyfriend vaguely from our hometown, but not well enough to violate any friend rules.

I saw her out one night at the local freshman bar in our college town. My drink budget for the night suddenly became unlimited. I was like Oprah: You get a drink! I knew I had one shot and I was going to take it. As the night wore on, we were both getting pretty lit. Around 1 a. I was in! There was just one problem. That meant not leaving her alone. In several hours. I told Lucky to keep walking, and ducked behind a campus building to answer the call.

The result was a lot of piss in my pants, and panic in my head. The amount of despair I felt at that moment has not been equaled in the entire span of human existence. Moral of the story: Always take a bathroom break, and always pay for the cab. Fucking Freshman. And it reminds you of all the ones that got away… freshman stupidity still giving me nightmares. I really feel for Ben here. I feel like that was his moment but instead he dropped the ball at the 1 before crossing the goal line.

I was thinking you have to risk getting caught with the pee but it must have been substantial amount if urine. Starting the night with the Tom Brady analogy, ending the night with the Russell Wilson analogy. So close. I call bulllllshhhiiittt. I have a buddy from B-More. Archive Advertise with us. Columns Humpday Hookup Horror Stories: Email this to a friend. PGP Admin. Employed and Depressed 4 years ago. HappyAndHomeless 4 years ago. Boone1 4 years ago.

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We receive submissions each week regarding postgrad hookup horror stories. So naturally, we're going to handpick the worst of the worst and. Humpday Hookup Horror Stories: The Squirts. Humpday Hookup Horror Stories: The Squirts. by TFM Intern Jul 24, 0 Comments •

Try to keep it under words. Thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged. It would be my second homecoming since graduation.

Try to keep it under words.

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Humpday Hookup Horror Stories: The Squirts

Try to keep it under words. Thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged. I picked up a girl at a bar one night and we really started getting hot and heavy on the dance floor. Real R-rated stuff, like over-the-pants-hand-jobbing me while she tried to suck my internal organs out through my mouth. We hailed a cab and took it back to my apartment.

Humpday Hookup Horror Stories: The Squirts

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We receive submissions each week regarding postgrad hookup horror stories. Thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged.

Try to keep it under words. Thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged.

Humpday Hookup Horror Stories: Unconscious Love

We receive submissions each week regarding postgrad hookup horror stories. Names have been changed to protect careers and personal lives. Thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged. All stories will be made anonymous. Try to keep it under words. As the story goes, I met this nearly year-old accountant at a horse race. Naturally, I was looking like a top-notch bitch so I obtained his immediate attention, and dinners followed. Being generally anxious, I needed some cocktails to refresh my spirit and make me funnier, therefore ensuring another date. No problem, right? He made good money, so we were constantly going out the nicest places in town. Typically a few high school type make out sessions followed dinner. Probably the result of a couple margs.

Humpday Hookup Horror Stories: Involuntary Threesomes

Try to keep it under words. Thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged. I joined the military right out of college. Not ideal. Then it was back to pushups and screaming. Fast-forward to three months later, and it was graduation night. One of my best friends from back home and his family even made the trip.

Try to keep it under words. Thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged. Midgets, if you want to be politically uncorrect. My closest friends knew about my attraction to little people and would always point out midgets, no matter where we were. One night we were out at the bar, and sure enough, there was a little person sitting at the other end of the bar.

My exgirlfriend and I had been dating for a while and we decided to spice things up one night which is to say I finally talked her into doing it in the butt. Thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged. Foolishly thinking that my girlfriend was as loose as Lisa Anns I shoved it in. All stories will be made anonymous. Are registered trademarks andor copyrights of their respective holdersShe did it again and I politely asked her to stop.

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