Why dating a married man is a bad idea

First, remember that you are destined to be together. It's a shame he's married, but that's just bad luck, and has nothing to do with why you want him. Like that time you were a toddler, and you chose blonde Barbie to play with, but then your friend chose brunette Barbie, and suddenly you realised you really wanted brunette Barbie all along! Just bad luck.

21 reasons you should never have an affair with a married man

First, remember that you are destined to be together. It's a shame he's married, but that's just bad luck, and has nothing to do with why you want him. Like that time you were a toddler, and you chose blonde Barbie to play with, but then your friend chose brunette Barbie, and suddenly you realised you really wanted brunette Barbie all along! Just bad luck. Second, reassure yourself that his wife doesn't understand him. She's a bitch.

She's psycho. And they're not in love. It's just a marriage of convenience. They were in love once, but then she changed, or he changed, or maybe he was never really in love with her at all in the first place — he just married her because that was the right thing to do. Remind yourself, too, that it's OK to have sex with him because his wife won't have sex with him, and men need to have sex! I mean, she might not want to have sex with him because he's a complete prick to her but, hey, if she refuses to have sex with him then he has every right to get it elsewhere and she can't blame you for stepping in.

Now, of course, he'll lose his kids, at least temporarily, when he runs off with you. And yes, he'll miss not living with them anymore, but your love will be enough to compensate! He might cry a lot for the first few months. He might get horribly depressed living away from his kids. But that will pass in a year or three! And, eventually, his kids will come to visit you on weekends, and you'll be a big, happy, blended family. The kids won't hate you for breaking up their parents' marriage.

They won't resent you for making their mum sad. They will accept you, love you and you'll take the girls out for manicures and the boys out to Star War movies and it will be rainbows and unicorns forevermore. His ex will hate you, probably forever, but really, that won't affect your life. It's not like you will ever need to see her.

I mean, sure, she'll be in your life forever, because she's the mother of your partner's kids, but it won't affect you much. Except for at every birthday party, school event, medical emergency, graduation, engagement, wedding, birth of grandchildren, etcetera for the rest of all of your lives. If your partner is rich, you'll have a very nice lifestyle once you move in together. Unless, of course, he loses most of his assets in the divorce settlement, which is likely if his ex keeps the kids.

But you'd love him for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, so that doesn't really matter to you at all. His friends will be horribly conflicted, and most will side with his ex, but that's a good thing! You guys will be able to focus more on your set of friends. Your partner might miss his friendship circle, but clearly they weren't true friends if they deserted him, so he'll get over it and move on. Remember that there will be lots of pressure on you to compensate for the fact that your partner left his wife for you.

Every time you have a fight, every time he feels low, every time his kids leave to go back to their mum's, he may look at you and wonder what the hell he's done. But you can cope with that. You will make all his sacrifice worthwhile. Your love will heal his wounds. Finally, you'll never quite be able to forget that your partner was cheating on his wife to be with you. You'll never be able to fully relax, because you know that if he can do it once, he can do it again. You know he can lie. You know he can manipulate.

You know he can gaslight. But he won't, of course, because this time, it's different. This time, it's true love. You two are destined to be together. Kerri is an author, columnist and mother of three. Her latest book is 'Out There: A Survival Guide for Dating in Midlife'. A single woman's guide to sleeping with a married man.

The Sydney Morning Herald. Kerri Sackville Facebook Twitter.

There's nothing wrong with falling in love with a divorcee, but getting involved with a divorced man isn't the same thing as dating a "separated". There are no positive reasons for dating a married man. Even the good reasons don't stand the test of time and turn out to be bad ideas in good ideas' clothing.

You may not have set out to fall in love with a married man, but there are times in life when even the most intelligent women find their emotions getting the better of them. Loving and dating a married man can be extremely painful and seldom works out well. But this article is not intended to judge anyone or tell you to "just dump him!

There's nothing wrong with falling in love with a divorcee, but getting involved with a divorced man isn't the same thing as dating a "separated" man. Being separated can mean a host of things:

Shake off the idea or take it personally because her at https: Disadvantages and. Time in way of me a lot of us with a married man who has been dating him.

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