Hmong dating the same last name

Hmong dating the same last name

His anger knows no bounds. Include, immediately after the copyright notices, a license notice giving the public permission to use the Modified Version under the terms of this License, in the form shown in the Addendum below. These campgrounds do not have electrical hook-ups. Standard Box Trunks with Canvas Covering. You re hmong dating the same last name in a winning position you ve got the meetup. Hmong dating the same last name - Catholics do not use contraceptives, because they believe that contraceptives inhibit lovers from giving themselves fully to their partner.

Why Some Hmong Girls Do Not Date Hmong Boys

The Hmong consists of 18 last sur names, making up 18 official clans. It is taboo to marry someone from the same clan. For instance, someone with the Yang last name cannot marry another Yang. The first one is a formal proposal. This is when a man and representatives from his family do a formal house call. The second one is the most common way couples get married. When a man is interested in marrying someone, he gives her a gift. If she accepts it, it means she agrees to marry him. American Hmong nowadays rarely practice this tradition of gift-giving before marriage.

The third is bride-napping zij poj niam. This is a very abusive tradition. Sometimes the man will give her a gift refer to above and not let his intentions be known. Here, in the US, he may tell the girl he wants to take her out and instead take her to his house. In Asia, he may come to her house when her parents are not home and literally carry or drag her home with the help of male friends or relatives. Because many Hmong are so tied to their traditions, that even if the tradition is a bad one like bride-napping , they accept it as a norm.

The girls—even if they were born in the US and are accustomed to American culture and laws—will abide by whatever their parents say because that is their culture and those are their parents. Additionally, the groom may rape his kidnapped bride so that she will be too shameful to go back home because now, she is damaged goods. Virginity is valued in traditional Hmong culture. The only time you should have sex is after marriage with your spouse. Remember that the Hmong culture values family and reputation.

And if you had accepted a gift from him, society put the blame on you. Because you have to save face. Before a wedding can take place, both clans have to agree on a bride price. The higher the bride price, the higher the value of a bride, the more her family expects her new husband to treat her well. However, this tradition has lost its meaning with time. Because the bride price carries such a bad connotation, some Hmong families today do not practice this tradition.

And if they do, they give the bride price money to the newlywed couple to start their lives. It is normal to see age gaps between Hmong married couples. A middle-aged man may have a wife as young as 16 years old sometimes even younger. Although it is becoming rare in 1st generation children in the United States, the Hmong still practice polygamy.

First generation children refers to those born in the US of immigrant parents. Polygamy gives the Hmong men a message that women or wives, for that matter are easily replaced and dispensable. If you are not happy with your wife, marry another one. If your wife does not bare you sons, marry another one ignorance towards reproduction. Women can and do abuse, but statistics have shown that men abuse more than women. That is the reason why the language in this post is gender-specific to men as the abusers.

Although homosexuality exists in the Hmong, it is still very taboo. Hmong marriage dynamics are set up for only heterosexuality with very specific gender roles—the wife serves the husband. Discussion question: What do you think of the Hmong traditions in regards to weddings and marriages? I doubt you would be surprised by my reaction: What is it that some Hmong, enough that you were warned heavily by family members for your safety in the U. All I can say, it is yet another example why some people choose to immigrate and live in North America….

Like Like. Many cultures around the world have had a history of bride-napping. The only difference between these cultures and the Hmong is that these other cultures no longer practice this abusive tradition. It takes time to change the stubborn ways of the Hmong and the only ones who can do it is the newer generations, becoming aware of this problem and choosing to discard it.

If not, then the cycle continues. Bride-napping is a terrible thing to do and I agree that it takes a new generation to make a change. How can calling the cops be equated with bringing shame to the family? I am shocked. Normally, the Hmong deal with their own problems within the family or the community. Bringing in others, such as law enforcement, is not really encouraged, especially when it comes to bride-napping or domestic violence.

Bride napping is always terrible. But being ignorant can be shocking…………. Calling the cops is like telling outsiders to come in and tell you what to do. Would you like me to come to your house and tell you what to do? I am a first generation Hmong male born in the US and so is my love interest. We both have Vang last names. She comes from a very traditional family and her father is very active in the Hmong community. My family socially isolated, in regards to other Hmongs.

We have been secretly dating for about 8 months now and we love each other very much. She later married a Vang and so my father was raised a Vang. Aside from our last names, there is no direct relationship between our families. I have been told we may not and should not ever marry. Why is it that marriages and relationships like ours are forbidden? Why is it such a taboo? I see so many other issues within the Hmong community that deserves our attention… i.

Plural marriages, 1st cousin marriages, spousal abuse, youth gangs, underage pregnancies,… etc. My mother told me that the reason why people of the same last names cannot marry is because the Hmong were a small group. And that tradition has been passed down from generation to generation. Many do not break this taboo because it has always been. Good luck to you and your girlfriend. Thank you for the reply, it is very much appreciated. Some aspects of the Hmong culture truly baffles me… and marriage is one of them.

Perhaps I am just trying to justify my own cause, but how is it that 1st cousins, whose parents are brothers and sisters can married? I know it may not happen in my lifetime, but perhaps soon, our views will change and other lovers like us can live without persecution. I look forward to reading your blog on this subject. Each clan has their own spirit guardian per se. When your grandma married into the vang clan she accepted the vang spirits as so did your father, since he was not taken by your grandfather.

There are other reasons too, but that is the main reason. People of the same clan spirits cannot marry each other, because it is like marrying your own sister. Thank you, Jack, for the info. I found out about spirits after I replied to this comment. Even so, it only just opened up a ton of questions—moreso than before. I do have a blog post that I am working on about this, so I will leave my ranting for that.

I have been seriously dating a first generation American-Hmong for a good amount of time now. His family, from what he tells me, is not super traditional, yet I have still not met his parents. Of course, this may take years! Just be yourself. Hmong people are very proud of their culture. One last note: However, there are also those parents who will never understand and will never accept interracial relationships. If it comes down to it, is he willing to stand up for you, to choose you over his family?

Is this somewhat a close assessment? Well, I can tell you that this is not only an issue with dating a Hmong guy. This is a universal issue and a much deeper topic. Find the answer and the issue of you meeting his parents will be a NON-issue. So to clarify, if he loves you, what does it matter?

Anonymous So why are a lot of Hmong people against taboo, same last name dating. I don't understand how millions of you would rather support the gay and. Is being married to someone with the same last name worse than .. because right now I'm dating a hmong girl with the same last name, and.

I know many Hmong women who refuse to date, let alone marry a Hmong man. Is this normal? Additionally, I have also heard those who agree with and support this life choice. There is no right or wrong way on how someone lives their life, who they fall in love with, or who they choose to stay away from. The expectations of a Hmong daughter—especially a Hmong nyab daughter-in-law is—in my opinion—the biggest factor as to why some Hmong women do not date even look at Hmong men.

Hmong Americans are organized into an clan structure; all members of a clan recognize that they are related by a common ancestor. For example, the last name Saykaothao indicates that their grandfather was Say Kao Thao and the last name Mouanoutoua indicates their grandfather was Nou Toua Moua.

The views and opinions expressed in the blog posts are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Hnub Tshiab: Hmong Women Achieving Together. Thank you for having the courage to share your story!

10 things about Hmong culture, food and language you probably didn't know

The Hmong people are an ethnic group currently native to several countries, believed to have come from the Yangtze river basin area in southern China. Throughout recorded history, the Hmong have remained identifiable as Hmong because they have maintained their own language , customs, and ways of life while adopting the ways of the country in which they live. After American armed forces pulled out of Vietnam, a communist regime took over in Laos, and ordered the prosecution and re-education of all those who had fought against its cause during the war. Whilst many Hmong are still left in Laos, Thailand, Vietnam, Myanmar, and China which houses one of the biggest Hmong populations in the world, 5 million , since many Hmong have fled Laos in fear of persecution. Housed in Thai refugee camps during the s, many have resettled in countries such as the United States , French Guiana , Australia , France , Germany , as well as some who have chosen to stay in Thailand in hope of returning to their own land. In the United States, new generations of Hmong are gradually assimilating into American society while being taught Hmong culture and history by their elders.

Traditional Hmong weddings and marriages

It's been 40 years since the Hmong people first began arriving in Minnesota. Today, the state boasts the second-largest Hmong population in the nation. An exhibit opens Saturday at the Minnesota History Center that tells their stories. Minnesota's Hmong story. The Hmong are members of an ethnic group that have not had a country of their own. For thousands of years, the Hmong lived in southwestern China. But when the Chinese began limiting their freedom in the mids, many migrated to Laos, Thailand and other neighboring countries. Looking back at 40 years of Hmong migration to U. Thousands fled — and died — and numerous refugee camps were set up in Thailand. Many Hmong families eventually resettled in the United States, France, Australia and other parts of the world.

The Hmong consists of 18 last sur names, making up 18 official clans. It is taboo to marry someone from the same clan.

So why are a lot of Hmong people against taboo, same last name dating. I don't understand how millions of you would rather support the gay and lesbian. I believe it's more wrong to stick it and rub it in the same genital part than taboo-ing. FYI this is a sin.

Hmong customs and culture

By NuChee , December 19, in soompi hangout. First off, I'm Hmong. And for us, we cannot date nor marry people who have the same last name as you. Like a person with the last name Lee can't date another with the same last name even if they aren't related. Well, in India where my parents are from , you can't marry anyone from the same village because people from the same village are all related. So, everyone would be your family members even if they live on the opposite side of the village. But my last name is very uncommon. I don't see anything wrong with dating others that has the same last name as you. Theres no difference. As long as differen't gender then please do. My best friend dated a guy with the same last name but he was from a different city. They dated for weeks long distance , but he would occasially comes down to our city to hangout with my friend and goes on group date.

Family/Clan Structure

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