Copenhagen dating culture
A fter arriving in this country late last year with a fellow foreigner and subsequently being unceremoniously dumped, I set out to explore the dating world of Denmark. What I found is a jungle of good-looking, usually well-spoken, trendy metrosexual men who are eager to impress a foreign heart. What I also discovered, unfortunately, is that on the whole Danish men fall under one category. It all began when I was working at a wedding. As I moved around the bar serving drinks, I was drawn to this good-looking, slightly big-nosed man who appeared to be intent on attracting my attention. As we walked towards the coffee place I was nearly knocked over when his hand flew across and hit me in the chest.
All the Scandinavian Dating Rules You Should Know
Many Danes meet their future spouses at work. Yet there are also strict laws in Denmark against sexual harassment. Where do you draw a line between harassment and two adults developing tender feelings for each other? Continue Reading. My Danish friends who are about to spend some time in the U. First, in the U. That Highway Patrol lady with the mirrored sunglasses who has just caught you speeding down Route 66 is unlikely to have much of a sense of humor.
The second tip is that, should you go to a bar, it can happen that a stranger or two will offer to buy you a drink. If the stranger is of the opposite gender, or same gender depending on the bar, that person is interested in you. Let them buy you a drink. And chat with them while you drink it. Buying a drink for someone is a big deal in Denmark, a place where a loving couple who go out for a romantic candlelight dinner often split the bill.
For Danes, buying someone a drink is like buying them a birthday present. Many Danes are not comfortable with a stranger making that level of commitment. The journalist chose to focus on love and romance in Denmark. Here are a few translated excerpts:. Having lived in Denmark for 15 years, Mellish has noticed that there are special rules for love here. No one knows who should take the initiative. Instead, Mellish has found, romance is facilitated with large amounts of alcohol consumed in the evenings.
Or read all of our blog posts on dating in Denmark on our dating tag. I get a lot of mail from readers of this site, but a lot of the mail I get is on one particular topic. And one from last month, from Alex: Any advice? Basically, a lot of the mail I get is from men, wanting to know how they can get some action in Denmark. I can understand this. Danes are very beautiful. And I can tell you now, most of them will not immediately reject you because you have a different skin color.
I know of several babies of mixed heritage here in Denmark. These tactics will get you nowhere in Denmark. Danes are not good with strangers, any type of stranger. They talk to their friends. Men would tell a lady how much money they made, and how much money they were going to make, how much power and influence they had, and how expensive their watch was. This will get you nowhere in Denmark.
The tax department will have your number, real fast. Second of all, Denmark is a very non-hierarchal society, very flat structure. For example, there are a lot of foreign engineers in Denmark. Hmmm…pretty good. Another way to impress a Danish women is showing how your work benefits the environment. My job is to rethink drilling to minimize the danger to the environment. Hmmm…sounds great. Creative industries, like design, and digital media, and video, are also popular in Denmark.
I really suggest guys prepare a little speech to this extent before they start to meet women in Denmark. Do some reconnaissance first, maybe do some shopping. Danes are casual, but not sloppy. And light on the cologne, guys. Meet the guys first Now, as I promised, back to how to meet women in the first place. What you need to do is come into their circle of friends. I suggest talking to one of the guys in the group.
And I think you can take it from there. If alcohol vanished from the Earth, so would romance in Denmark. I saw a movie this week. It was the latest in long-running series called Father of Four. The series has been running since the Fifties. As the kids grow up, they just replace them with new actors. Anyway, in this episode, there was a romance. What struck me watching the movie was that the male romantic lead was visibly shorter than the female lead. In the Danish film, there was no attempt to hide it.
They had them walk side by side through a meadow. I kept thinking. The man is NOT in charge. He is a not a Frenchman who will pursue you to the ends of the earth. If you are a romance novelist, the Danish man is not your dream man. He will cook and help with the housework. He will take being a father seriously. In fact, you may have to force yourself on him. Danish women carry their own packages Why are Danish men like this? Danish women, they say, like to do things for themselves. They can carry their own packages.
So, the Danish male approach is largely passive. They wait to see if the woman is interested. Danish men do not want to offend women. But they can occasionally err a bit on the soft side. For example, a few weeks ago, we had a big storm in Denmark, and it knocked down some large trees. Before the local government came to collect them, some people were sawing off bits for free firewood, or to make furniture, or other arts and crafts project.
On our street, there was a very large tree down, and as I was walking by that Saturday, I saw a young couple trying to take part of it home. The small, slender young woman was sawing away at this big tree with an old-fashioned manual saw, while her boyfriend was just standing there, smiling, with his hands in his pockets. Maybe he had a back injury — he was about 25, so maybe had a very youthful back injury. Or maybe he was a big wimp who was willing to let his girlfriend saw a giant tree stump while he stood there, acting like a giant tree stump.
Who knows? He will not write poetry and pursue his beloved to the ends of the Earth. Dating in Denmark is hard, even for the Danes, and it will probably be hard for you too. This essay is from a series I wrote shortly after I arrived in Denmark. The line drawings are my own. In a land with few limits, Americans draw a firm line between work and sex, based on the rather prissy notion that no one should have to put up with sexual come-ons or even sexual talk in order to keep a job, and that anyone who does should be compensated with a hefty legal settlement.
All I can think about at a Danish Christmas party is how much an American lawyer could earn off the proceedings. One stalk of corporate mistletoe, I am sure, would generate more than enough business for him to redecorate his office with the high-priced furniture at Illums Bolighus and his wife with silver from George Jensen. Call a lawyer This American concept of sexual harassment has been difficult to explain to my Danish male co-workers, who like to tell saucy jokes in the office, and whose hands have occasionally ended up attached to my hair, shoulders, and bottom until I threaten to call an American lawyer.
For them, I offer this easy-to-follow rule: Anything I might want to discuss with, say, Danish heartthrob Nikolaj Coster-Waldau in a jacuzzi over two flutes of champagne, I do not want to discuss with you, married father of four, over six pages of computer printouts on letterhead. Anything I might want to do with Nikolaj by candlelight, I do not want to do with you by fluorescent light.
The overfamiliarity between co-workers is just one of the reasons Christmas partys are difficult for foreigners. The structure of the party, the long tables and the fixed seats, is a challenge in itself. At American parties, the format is loose and everybody mingles, which allows one to break free of a bore with a number of convenient excuses, such as Hey!
I must say hi. At a Danish Christmas party, you sit at a seat assigned to you by luck of the draw or cruel party planners and are expected to chat for seven hours. Snaps, a Viking tradition What do Danish people say to each other for seven hours at those tables? Of course, I know what two close friends say to each other, but what about people who have nothing in common but a copy machine? This is where snaps comes in. Snaps is also just the beginning of an enjoyable program of Danish food.
Here are some tips for dating as a foreigner in Denmark. to spend some time in the U.S. often ask me for advice about surviving American culture, .. our cut of the criminal millions being made on the streets of Copenhagen. Dating in Denmark isn't easy, even for the Danes. On my very first night in Copenhagen, I went with an American girlfriend to a downtown.
Meet with the locals who will cook up a homemade dish, while you learn about their culture and lifestyle. Many nationalities visit Denmark every year. Here you join the local people, who will cook up a homemade dish for you, while you learn more about each other as well as the culture and lifestyle. We are sure they have some tales to tell you.
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The dating battleground can be a fierce, unrelenting and savage arena, and Denmark is by no means an exception, especially when it comes to non-Danes trying to woo Danish women. As an expat, you may have naively left the airport with a sense of safety that the years of honing your irresistible charm will be enough to navigate the minefield of finding love in Denmark. You were most likely wrong.
Six tips for surviving the Danish dating scene
I saw a movie this week. It was the latest in long-running series called Father of Four. The series has been running since the Fifties. As the kids grow up, they just replace them with new actors. Anyway, in this episode, there was a romance. What struck me watching the movie was that the male romantic lead was visibly shorter than the female lead.
Living in: The world’s best cities for dating
These five cities are made for finding love, thanks to their lively bars, trendy restaurants, outdoor activities — and laid-back locals known for being open to meeting new people. Love knows no borders — and no one knows that better than those who have found romance in another country. These five cities, which we culled from lists by The Travel Channel , Travel and Leisure , and Conde Nast Traveler , include laid-back bars that make meeting people easy, trendy restaurants for that perfect first date, lush parks for romantic walks — and, most importantly, plenty of fun, friendly singles. View image of Tango in Buenos Aires Credit: Buenos Aires is a city that embraces romance to its fullest. Outside of park benches, socialising often happens over a bottle of local red wine in a romantic bar or in a boliche nightclub. The largest neighbourhood in the city, Palermo has its fair share of restaurants and bars, along with the Buenos Aires Zoo and botanical gardens. For an upscale night out, head to Puerto Madero alongside the eastern Rio de le Plata riverbank.
Relationships and men generally must earn more convoluted than 10, once upon a wife.
As I find my feet in Copenhagen, most people I meet are fellow international students. But with speed dating, finding Danish love may actually be easy.
Danish Dating Scene Part III
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This forum is mainly in Danish, but posts in other Scandinavian languages and English are welcome too. Teknisk Tirsdag. Omverdens Onsdag. Fri snak fredag. If you are looking to visit or move to Denmark, please check out these links before posting to the subreddit:.
Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”
Your chances of scoring a date are high is you suggest meeting at a bar. Danes are at their most sociable in bars. Plus, many Danish bars have long wooden tables that can be shared by more than one group of friends, so grab one and get into a conversation. This is not the case in Denmark. Here, it is quite common for women to make the first move, a custom which could be attributed to the fact that Danish society has been built on an egalitarian model—everyone is considered equal.
Dating sites copenhagen denmark
For some, Tinder offers a temporary physical relief from the sting of loneliness. Other people seek Tinder for emotional satisfaction. On Saturday night, I went out with my Danish roommate, Trine. Trine is blond, blue-eyed and beautiful. At six-foot-three, Trine has legs for miles and miles. She can get it.
So I asked him out. Not so according to the Danish rules of courtship. He was in shock. Until then you should feel free to act as openly as you like: The line between friendship and dating here is horribly messed up. The fact that Danish men and women pursue purely platonic relationships with the opposite sex has meant their dating culture suffers badly. I tried to play the Danish dating game according to New Zealand rules:
Many Danes meet their future spouses at work. Yet there are also strict laws in Denmark against sexual harassment. Where do you draw a line between harassment and two adults developing tender feelings for each other? Continue Reading. My Danish friends who are about to spend some time in the U.Gender Perspectives on Danish Dating Culture