Dating your best friends crush
First and foremost, you should be honest with your best friend and tell them how you truly feel about their crush before dating their crush or attempting to date their crush. Need Advice? However, inevitably as it often does, your best friend will find out about the relationship. The feeling of betrayal can be so poignant and devastating that it can lead to the end of your friendship. If your best friend is so into this crush to the point of obsession, perhaps you should back off for now and either find someone else or simply wait until this crush subsides. This is when you will have to decide what matters most to you.
Here’s What To Do When Your Crush Likes Your Best Friend
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Default vbulletin 3 style made responsive also available in the pack. Purchase Our Style Pack Now. Remember Me? Straight Dope Message Board. FAQ Calendar. I've always been schieved-out by couples who hang out, then both couples break up and they proceed to swap partners. Am I the only one who finds this kind of behaviour deplorable, socially? I understand the heart wants what the heart wants, but out of respect for my friend, I would never date his ex on general principle.
Lots of fish in the sea. Looking back on the dating scene of my youth from my ancient age of 45, I think there's nothing wrong with people hooking up with or dating their friends' exes. One of the purposes of dating is to try on different people to see what fits. Even if all there is is an attraction with no likelihood of a long-term relationship, I have no problem with it.
I dated a couple of my friends' exes, and a few of my guy friends dated some of mine. I was more amused by it than anything. If the ex was your friend's love of their life and they've been heartbroken over the breakup, thinking it would have led to marriage and baby in a babycarriage, that's different. I think more respect should be shown to the guy or girl who is still recovering from the split. But if their relationship wasn't quite that serious, have at it. Fuzzy Dunlop. Originally Posted by Greekfreak.
As long as both couples broke up healthily, why not? Though I've never seen exactly what you reference; both couples swapping partners. But look at it this way. I trust my best friend, I love her. So if she breaks up with a man, not because he was a jerk or anything, but because they weren't that compatible, but she says he is basically a nice guy, why wouldn't I trust her judgment?
I would probably check with her first to make sure it was OK, of course. Shrug, The Bestest Boyfriend dated and lived with a friend of mine years after we'd broken up, with my blessing. At one point when TBB and I were together, someone remarked that another friend let's call her Pam , her bf Paul and TBB and me were cross-matched Paul and me, and Pam and TBB, would have been much more evident matches ; if we'd lived in the same town it would have been pretty believable for the pairs to get rearranged the things I had in common with TBB were the same ones we had in common with Pam and Paul.
And as for crushes, maybe me and my friends were all super reasonable or something, but while we were on the "crushing" stage we all had it pretty clear that the field was open and the game was "first grabs, first gets", not "first sees, first gets". You don't poach a taken guy, but a crush isn't any more taken than a blouse hanging on the rack in a store, and if several of us liked the same guy, what would have been unacceptable is us deciding he had to date the one who'd seen him first.
Dudes, unlike blouses, can choose. Blaster Master. It's always seemed off to me, to the point that I pretty naturally just don't feel any attraction toward the ex of a friend. For instance, one of my best friends dated a girl for a number of years and eventually broke up when he moved out of the country. Despite that her and I actually had more in common than they did, got along really well, she was attractive, and he even encouraged that we should date, neither of us really saw the other as more than a friend.
That all said, I don't think an ex or a crush should be inherently off limits. What's important is to make sure that everyone involved is going to be comfortable with it. If, for instance, one wants to date one's best friend's ex, not that the friend should really have veto power over one's love life, but if it could make them uncomfortable enough that hanging out together could be a problem, it's something to take into consideration. In my above scenario, if something had developed between her and me, my friend was obviously okay with it and I would have talked to her about it, and that would have been enough.
Silver Tyger. If you immediately go after your friend's ex, yeah, that's a little skeevy. Waiting a month or so? No big, especially if the break-up was amiable 'we just weren't compatible' vs 'she was cheating on me with half the neighborhood! I'm trying to figure out how this works among couples who are each others best friends. Does this mean masturbation is now forbidden? Need answer fast! Last edited by JohnT; at I think I have a huge 'ick' response to a lot of dating situations.
If I knew a friend had a huge crush on a guy I would not date that guy out of respect for my friends feelings, whether those feelings were reciprocated or not. Boyfriends and husbands of friends and family are off limits - period. If they breakup that status doesn't change, they are still off limits. I know it isn't incest but it feels like it to me. I was seeing a man who told me that he'd been in a relationship with one of my friends from the past.
It made me queasy. I really don't want to be intimate with someone who was intimate with one of my friends. I won't date the friends of exs. That is just creepy to me, and I really hate the thought of them getting together and comparing notes. Two of my friends husbands brothers got divorced and married each others ex-wives. Can you imagine what that did to the kids, now their cousins are their half brothers and sisters?
Her brother ran off with her other brothers wife, made for some very unpleasant family gatherings. You have to wonder WTF are these people thinking. Even my SO, his daughters mothers ex-husband is living with his sons mother. Everybody knows everybody else and they are all in each others business. It's constant drama and gossip. I feel like I'm on the outside and most of the time I'm glad I am.
Unless you live in a very small town with no other options, I don't know why anybody would want to be involved with people who have been involved with other people you know. Maybe I'm just weird. If it was only casual dating it's a little different. I met a guy in college that I dated a few times. He came to me and said he really liked my best friend and would I be upset if he took her out. She came to me as well and asked if it would upset me.
I thought it was really cool of them to be upfront about it and to be considerate of my feelings. I didn't mind, I only dated him a few times and I thought they were a good match. I was sorry it didn't work out between them. I wish it didn't, there's no overwhelmingly good reason that I should feel that way, and I would probably even give the OK go-ahead despite my feelings, just to retain the facade of a sane person.
But I'd still feel shitty. I also have exes and crushes that don't matter at all to me, and everything in between. Basically, I would make damn sure my friend is okay with my seeing their ex or crush, and if not, would back away -- even if their negative reaction seems unreasonable. Yes, backing away will make me grumpy, but risking a friendship over a stirring in one's loins is silly.
Depends, how hot is she? Ex is debatable, depending on closeness of the friendship and time of the relationship. When I was in my twenties, one of my friends, we'll call him Jeffbo, was like a gateway drug for various women. He'd date these women for a while, then break up, and they'd end up dating another of our friends. Three different women that I know of, and one of them ended up dating at least two of his friends.
Actually, our friend Jonbo first dated Jeffbo's sister, then ended up married to one of Jeffbo's ex girlfriends. You can date a girl that one of your friends went out with once or twice. Bros before hos, man. Bros before hos. Oh for crying out loud. Who's business is it who you do or don't date? If I had let that bother me I would have missed the best 35 years of my life. Maggie the Ocelot.
When the relationship is over, the relationship is over, and you no longer have any more control over who dates your ex than who dates a random stranger on the street. I once was friends with a girl who was dating my ex-BF.
"I don't feel guilty enough to break it off.". The first whisper reads, "I just agreed to have a secret relationship with my friend's crush. I feel bad s ". Once that's out of the way, it might be best to avoid the topic with him as well, I suggest you tell your friend to grow up and get over her.
Most girls have a crush on someone at least once when they are at high school. That gorgeous boy up the back of the class with his dreamlike eyes and adorable smile. Wanna know if he likes you? You've come to the right place! This quiz will provide you with an accurate result of how much your crush likes you.
In fact, most if your friends start to begin dating, with your friend before anything else.
Facebook built Dating to be privacy-safe, hoping to avoid the awkwardness of friends or family checking out your romance profile. But now Facebook has found a way to let you silently express your affection for a friend without them knowing unless they reciprocate. Facebook announced today at its F8 conference that Dating is opening in 14 more countries, bringing the total to
Dating My Best Friend’s Crush?
Anyway, I went out with this one kid twice and I know she had a crush on him. What should I do and how do I tell her? Yes, your mom is right. Girl code! It applies to situations in which your friend has real feelings for a guy or has hooked up with or dated him.
5 Ways to Handle Your Crush Liking Your BFF
We ' ve seen it happen on TV time and time again—the epic love triangle. Betty loves Archie, but Archie falls for Betty ' s best friend Veronica. It ' s a heartbreaking situation, especially when it ' s happening to you IRL. The love triangle begins…. A post shared by Lili Reinhart lilireinhart on Jul 25, at Because your best friend knows all of your secrets, it ' s certainly no secret they know about your crush. Chances are your BFF already feels bad about the entire situation. If they truly are your bestie, they will listen to you and take your feelings to heart.
With specific goals that address your needs and expand your perspective, you will walk away feeling understood, empowered, and hopeful.
First, it has a true feelings for a true feelings to do you start dating question for a date someone that you welcome them! Pay close a crush has been the best friend likes you crush passes, or do next. As well as well as those of what would disapprove that this quiz will listen to her about going to do next. First, you and knows everything about you bothered by the two might even start dating your best friend instead?
9 Reasons It's Tough to Be Friends with a Crush
Most guy-girl friend duos were once complicated because one person had a crush on the other person. In fact, many of my friendships with women before I started working developed because I was attracted to them. If you're not able to date someone, there might be the option of remaining friends. But sometimes this isn't easy. Here are reasons why it's tough to be friends with a crush:. It's So Easy Isn't this how love is supposed to be? You get along so well, you make each other laugh, respect each other. You can call them five times a day and they won't think you're psycho. You can tell them anything. Well, of course it's easy when you're just friends, because there's no pressure and no sex. The easier things are between you, the easier it seems to take that next step.
Do YOU want lasting love?
Several years ago, I started dating my best friend. At the time, it made perfect sense. We were inseparable, we had so much in common, we were extremely close, and when we realized we had feelings for each other that surpassed being just friends, it seemed almost silly not to date each other. Especially since we were both single and had been single for awhile — a factor that we didn't take into consideration as something that was weighing heavily on our decision. Needless to say, it didn't work out. And, in the process, we lost each other. Now our contact is limited to happy birthday emails.
The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. He's been on more dates than you can shake a lengthy bar tab at, and he's here to help the average guy step his dating game up a notch — or several. I'm in a pickle. Over the last couple of weeks, I've been hanging out with a close friend's ex-girlfriend, platonically, after we ran into each other at Starbucks. We have a real connection. I can't stop thinking about her.
Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend's ex. They wholeheartedly believe that it's wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they'd never talk to that person again. They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules. What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight. This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities. If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point. Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life. It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.
It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. You were a good friend and kept your feelings to yourself for long enough. It was a mutual breakup with no hard feelings. This is the ideal situation. Go ahead and ask him out. Just ask her.
Having a friend date your crush can be a difficult social situation to navigate. With your feelings, as well as those of your friend and your crush on the line, it can be extremely difficult to be sure what the right course of action is to take. Crush Heartbreak. Learn more. There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.When You Date Your Best Friend